Bondage... general discussion and Q&A

[criscokid]

So if you’re curious about bondage, or are seriously fantasizing about trying it, but want to know more... then this thead is your space to post your questions or share hints and tips with others.

[PozPigTop]

Here are some basic guidelines to get things started. These are from My experience, so feel free to add, counter, etc.

1. It's always important to have a lot of open and honest communication. This occurs prior to the scene, DURING the scene, and after the scene. While I consider Myself a well-rounded and experienced Top, I feel it's important to hear feedback to keep My skills honed. Talk about your expectations and experience level. Figure out some type of check-in system (a safe word, hand gestures, etc.) during the scene to make sure things are going well.

2. Know your partner. I have a good bondage bottom buddy who will only get tied up at the partner's place, when he's dealing with a new person. He was robbed one time, and learned a valuable lesson. If there's any doubt (that deep down doubt that's warning you of something), talk more, or just hold off on the scene until you are sure.

3. Know your partner's limitations. I always ask about things like past injuries and health problems (neuropathy, blood pressure issues, arthritis, etc.). The biggest mistake I've seen with bondage is cutting off blood flow. It's VITAL that the Top (and the bottom) check the extremities, especially hands and feet, to make sure there's adequate blood flow. If there is any discoloration or a cold feeling, then chances are very good that the body part isn't getting enough blood. Loosen the bonds, or take a little break. This is very important with bondage positions where the arms/hands are above the head for a long period of time. When binding the hands/wrists, always keep the insides of the wrists/palms together. Look at your arms, palms up. See all those veins and arteries? They keep the blood flowing to the hands and arms. Keeping them together helps you acquire a tighter wrap, and aids in maintaining blood flow. Always try to avoid rope/wraps going directly across the insides of the wrists.

3A. Know your limitations as well! If you are small and your bottom is bigger, make sure you position them in such a way that you minimize any lifting or maneuvering you may not be strong enough to handle.

4. BE PREPARED! I can't stress this enough. While handcuffs are really hot and erotic, they can be difficult to get off someone quickly. One little dropped or bent key, and you're in trouble. I prefer bondage methods that can be easily cut away quickly. Saran wrap, softer rope, rubber straps, and one of My favorites. .ACE bandages. These can be cut off with a pair of safety scissors, which I have conveniently placed around My dungeon.

5. While many bottoms fantasize about being tied up and left for hours on end, it's not a good idea. It takes a very short time for catastrophe to happen. I had one pig who passed out during a bondage scene. If I had not been right there, . . well, I hate to even think about it.

6. Don't take it personally. This is primarily for the Tops and the tier-uppers out there. I've found the fantasy of an activity often has the bottom with expectations that are not realistic. Once they get into the scene, they might realize it's not working for them. I know that, and it's no reflection on Me or My skills. Take a break, discuss, and regroup. I have a couple of pigs that took several months before they were able to be comfortable and really into the bondage scenes, even though they were the ones that had requested it. My bondage scene won't be the same as another Top's bondage scene. That's fine.

7. Give the Top a chance. This is for the bottoms out there. Once you've negotiated the scene, and are ready to go, give the Top a chance to demonstrate their expertise. Hopefully, you've chosen a Top who is experienced and is watching out for your well being. Express yourself as previously discussed, but try not to micromanage the scene, unless you're training the Top in bondage. Many bondage scenes require a lot of energy and planning for the Top. Don't decide right after you're strung up, that you'd really rather be in the sling, so you can get your hole pounded as well. Letting a Top know that something is tingling (sign of restricted blood flow), itching, or pinching in the not-good way, is fine, IMHO.

Looking forward to hearing everyone else's comments!!

[gelding]

Have a nice bondage bench ("spanking bench" says its vendor) that is nice for strapped down play. Used it a couple of time to invite top studs over to find a naked bottom strapped onto it for them to just lube up and mount. One guy surprised me with a friend to tag team the bottom in bondage.

Two top studs had me over to their place and shocked me with their Great Dane mounting my ass after they had tied me into position.

[uncutlatino]

Wow! Those are hot scenes! Lucky bottom boy! I think it'd be hot to be tied down and fucked like that.

Don't know if I could do the Great Dane, but if I were tied down I really wouldn't have an option, would I?

[skindad]

It seems to me that bondage is a basic component to getting into many sleaze or chosen SM/BD situations. Ever since I was seduced into a rugged SM session, being properly and safely restrained is the prelude to giving or receiving sexual and physical operations.

Besides having the restrained person available for such things as fucking, fisting, etc, compatible tops and bottoms may indulge in such things as flogging, whipping, TT, CBT, electric stimulation, etc. All depending on the top's desires as well as what the bottom is able and willing to take, giving consideration to his limits and also expanding them as mutually agreed. Being bound or restrained as the prelude to a scene, normaly increases the bottom's anticipation, putting him in the mood, so to speak, to ready himself for the joys and pleasures of whatever the top has in store for him.

[croppedtop]

One thing I have learnt is never to take your bottoms word about how much he can take.

Last one who said he could take heavy weights on his balls passed out, so did a guy just as I finished tieing him to my cross. I never leave a guy who is restrained alone, even 10 seconds can be too long.

[1HotTop4Sub]

One of my absolute favorite mediums for bondage is rope... but there are two things you need to learn about to use rope effectively.

First, the selection of the right rope (material, brade, diameter/nominal size).

Fortunately, a quick web search will give you lots of reading information (and I suggest learning about ropes from the rope vendors before you just go to a bondage site and take advice without understanding it -- but cotton's almost always a good place to start).

Second, for those who weren't boy scouts (or haven't fucked enough of them to earn a merit badge in knots) how to tie knots, and what knots are useful for what.

Again a quick web search will help you out.

When you select a rope, consider what you're going to do with it you're probably going to want a few different ropes in your play bag. Knots are somewhere between a science and an art -- learn a few well (hitches, half-knots, square-knots, overhand, figure-8, fisherman's, etc). As you become more accustom to ropes & knots you'll learn more...

But one thing to remember -- unless you're using fairly broad ties, it's _very_ easy with rope to cut off circulation... so don't get carried away with your first few 'victims'.

Originally Posted by PozPigTop

Here are some basic guidelines to get things started. These are from My experience, so feel free to add, counter, etc.

Great post... I would add to it:

I don't gag or blindfold a boi early on in play -- reading his face and hearing his breathing is important to understand his reaction. What is he says is often not as important as how he says it.

[1HotTop4Sub]

One really good medium to start with if you're interest in learning how to tie someone up is silk neck ties... go to your local thrift store and see what you can pickup inexpensively.

Silk is soft & strong... and a tie is a good length... as long as you stay away from the neck it'd be really hard to endanger your bottom.

Oh yeah... limit your bondage play time to under an hour to start, and it's ok to make your bottom think you've left the room -- but stay where you can see them (a silk tie can be used as a blindfold as well).

CAUTION -- DO NOT attempt to suspend anyone using ropes, ties, etc unless you really know what you're doing...

You need practice... well -- tie up your own legs in the privacy of your dungeon... it'll give you practice and build your confidence.

And... keep some safety scissors handy (no knifes or regular scissors -- and safety cutters generally work on rope, but generally not very well on neck ties).

[Hot2bfucked]

Gelding you always have such interesting additions!
I'd really like to meet the two tops that provided such an intense surprise ending!